It's alright to pat your own back when you've kicked ass, honey! There's a difference between bragging and writing about a real triumph. You can have confidence in yourself while still realizing that there are those who are better. Just because there are better dancers doesn't mean you don't have your moments, y'know?

These are great questions.

I have the same outlook, and by extension, the same problem, with humility translating itself to self-doubt. (Then my dance partner smacks me in the head and reminds me that no one's perfect, and i should stop being so hard on myself. *Slaps Wrist--Bad Perfectionist*)

I'm not a big presence online, nor am i a huge presence in the dance community, but when i do speak up, or get out to events--i speak truth, and am sincere in my compliments, constructive criticism, etc. It can also be said that i speak my mind when i feel the need to...but that's another post altogether.

On the topic of humility, know that you are in the minority. A lot of dancers lack the dna required to form a sincere smile, honest feedback, or to self-critique and grow. There are some of these above mentioned which never grow, because of this, which i find sad and wonder if this is just a flaw one picks up in learning to dance (like sloppy arms) or a flaw of the human being who dances. Humility among dancers is a rare and treasured gift, and is in my mind, a building block of a captivating performer. The true ability to say about oneself "i could have done this better...this timing was off...oop--there goes my belt" and tick a box in the mind to work on these issues should be commended. The sticky bit is to sit and say to oneself " dammit, i'm still stiff on this, that timing is such a pain, why didn't someone tell me my belt was crooked" and feel defeated by the art you are trying to create. Sort of like "Can't see the forest for the trees".

It is the genuine people that suck you into a performance, not in a "Wow, i didn't know the human body could do that," way but in a "I could watch this for hours, because i feel like she/he is speaking directly to me," regardless of the tone or theme of the piece.

When it comes, then, to patting oneself on the back, giving credit where it is due--especially when it IS due to you--whether after a hafla, or in your blog, on your tribe or in another public forum, i think you should do it, and tell everyone why. For example, putting up a youtube video and posting it to a feedback tribe or to a forum where it is within the moderator's rules and posting something to the effect of "this is where i am right now, and i am really proud that i created this choreography all by myself, or that i finally got a move down and it worked on stage, or this is my first crack at group improv on stage with full costume and makeup-i'm in purple on the left," or whatever.... This tells the people who read the forum, and whose opinions carry sway with you or whose feedback is valuable to you that you are proud of an accomplishment. It does not come off as "I should totally be on BDSS, they turned me down when i auditioned, they totally suck and have no idea what talent is because they let me slip out of their fingers. (enter youtube link here) "

There's a huge difference between sharing pride in an accomplishment and putting on heirs. For those who carry the Humility gene, it is easy to post a genuine comment focusing on the former, and not having it come off as the latter.

Those are the people that i admire as dancers. And i think it prudent to note that though there are "bigger and better" dancers out there, it does not necessarily mean that they share the same outlook. Sometimes the "bigger and better" ones are the ones you will never see touring the world, or fitting into a cookie cutter chorus of matching costumes, or on a DVD, or even teaching the art. Sometimes, they are the woman next to you in class, who is determined to get a smoothe undulation one of these days...and who will probably come into class one day and say "Hey! Look what i can do!!!"

What are you proud of?

--A

I had a crippling self esteem problem when I first started dancing. I didn't perform for the first four years of my dance education. I ended up dancing to pay the bills while I was in college and that was just a matter of having to suck it up and do what I had to do.

Humility is not a matter of maintaining a sense of low self worth. Humility, as defined by Socrates, is truly knowing your place in the world. It's recognizing your accomplishments and greatness, if you have that in you, while simultaneously maintaining a firm idea of where you are in relation to others.

Keyword: Balance.

~*Spoon*~

To the wonderful thoughts above, I'd add a short bit from one of my favorite books, "Pronoia is the Antidote for Paranoia" by Rob Brezsny.

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You're a star--and so am I. I'm a genius--and so are you. Your brilliance doesn't diminish my charisma, and vice versa.

Those are the new rules in the New World we're creating. That's different from the Old World, where your greatness is supposed to make me feel envious, and all of us are allegedly in competition for the rare privilege of being a well-appreciated winner.

In the New World, you don't have to play down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own mastery without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more of your latent aptitude, you inspire others to claim more of their own idiosyncratic magnificence.

When you feel the pure joy over an accomplishment, of course you should give yourself cred. I think the breaking point is not when but WHY you're doing this announcement of opportunity or success. If it's you want to share your joy, then it's ok. But if you try to pose as better than the rest and show off what YOU have accomplished, making clear that you make a distinction between you and rest, then it's merely bragging and not nice at all.

People perceive your patting yourself in different ways too, depending on their own experiences and personalities. And nationality. Here in Sweden we are encouraged to not stick out in any way, ever, and believing you're good is almost a mortal sin... Here telling you're happy about your accomplishment would most likely turn into bragging and being full of yourself for most people. But as long as YOU know it was just you sharing your happiness over something, then you know it's ok.

I want to keep reading about all you wonderful dancers and what you're doing, and achieving. Don't stop telling us what can be accomplished. Please keep on sharing.

Saz'hrah, I have a friend in you I guess! ;-p I am literally my worst critic.....it kind of goes beyond me being hard on myself though. I have some problems with seeing EVERY wrong thing I do. Whenever people tell me I did a good job of course I smile and say thank you, but then my mind just goes off on its own. Good question though and I love these answers. Helpful!

Thanx for asking this one! :-)